You work out of a Hotel?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
