When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
