If i could tip my vagina, i would.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
