Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
