At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
