My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
They took my balls.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
