I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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