I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
50% drunk capacity currently
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
