Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
