her vagine was all disorganized.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
