Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
