Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
