Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
