never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Its about making memories worth repressing
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
