I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
