I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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