But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
