oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
