She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
