she was so not down for the gang bang
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Boobs speak an international language.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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