Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize