absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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