so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My penis needs a shock collar
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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