She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Bring me that man meat
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
