Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
