Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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