Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
