What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
