Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
