ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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