Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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