so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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