so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
