how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
