she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
