Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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