Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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