You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
