ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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