none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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