he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
