I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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