I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
love makes seman taste better
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
