Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
