this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
