Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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