I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
