I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
