there's paper in my vomit.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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