Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
