when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
love makes seman taste better
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
